Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
