But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
