Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
