one might say we're banned from that church
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
whose parrot is this?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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