hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
