all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
