we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
