found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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