Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
