so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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