The brown eye won't let me do that either.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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