I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
