I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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