and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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