she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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