Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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