people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
