everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
