The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
