i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize