Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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