she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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