Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i've created a new STD.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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