Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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