Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
