she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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