your parents love me but you hate me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
