absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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