I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
