I just pynch a tree in the face
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
