Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
