You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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