i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
