I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize