So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
