no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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