I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize