Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
