I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
