just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
