More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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