My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
