i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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