do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
