Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
