He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
