Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
