I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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