in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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