at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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