love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
