He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
