I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
