Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just pee around me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
