I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
