Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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