Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
