he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
