Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We just shotgunned beers for America
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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