Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
