just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
