Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
