Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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