Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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