just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
