well I can't set my house on fire every night
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
