Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
