I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
